The world is your lobster (Part 3)

When your mother asks, 'Do you want a piece of advice?' it is a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway.

Erma Bombeck

When you're trying to make up your mind about your career, or the next step in your life, there will be many people who are willing to give you their opinions. With some of them, it won't be so much willing, as forceful. Everyone has an opinion. Everyone has advice...and you will get to hear it all. The important qu

estion is, "who will you listen to?"

Parents. Friends. Teachers. Society. Spouses. Talk show hosts. The neighbour's cat...all of them, to some extent may try to influence your choices and tell you what they think. And sometimes, that's what you need, what you want. But sometimes, it throws a distracting arrow onto an already confusing signpost.

When you're deciding whose advice to take and who to listen to, I think there are two main things to consider: how invested is this person in me and my future (and as a result, how much do they care) and how affected will this person be by my decision?

For example, society may want you to fit into its mould of becoming a rich, successful business owner perhaps, but society doesn't really care who you are and in the grand scheme of things, isn't really affected by your decision. On the other hand, if you consider your spouse or girlfriend/boyfriend, they are a part of your day to day life and hopefully your future life, and as a result, they care about who you are, what you do and what it means for you. If they are a part of your life, your decision will also affect their life. So, what you hear from them deserves more time than the messages you get from society.

When I was at school and at the stage of deciding what I wanted to study at university, I felt quite a strong push from teachers. I wanted to do something in health/medicine. My thoughts were that I wanted to be a speech therapist or a physio. But I got good grades, grades that were high enough to get me in to study medicine. And that is the direction that I was pushed in. Because, frankly, it looked better for my school to have a past pupil who was a doctor than a physio. They were affected (although only a little affected) by my decision but not really invested in it, not for the right reasons anyway.

It's good to get advice, but be aware of the motives behind it. Ask advice from people you trust, people you know are invested in helping you get to where you want to be.

Don't follow any advice, no matter how good, until you feel as deeply in your spirit as you think in your mind that the counsel is wise.

Joan Rivers