If it's right, it should be simple...right?

Sometimes, you just know when something is right

...a job change...a relationship...a big move...

Sometimes you have reasons for knowing: it fulfills a dream, it gives you a chance to use your skills, it's in the right place at the right time. Sometimes you don't, sometimes you just can't explain it.

When I got made redundant from my first job in New Zealand, there was a lot of uncertainty: jobs, money, visas. I didn't know how it was going to be resolved. But what I did know was that I was meant to stay where I was, that Hamilton was the place for me, for that

time. People all around me were asking me if I thought the redundancy was a sign that I should go back to Belfast, or that I should move to where more of the opportunities were. And logically, those seemed like better options. But I just knew, unequivocally, in a way I can't define or explain, that I was going to stay.

That knowledge didn't necessarily make things easier. I had to write up a CV, get references, deliver my CVs, look into my visa options, make a budget to work out how long I could manage if I didn't find another job straight away. It was a busy time. It was a time of mental, emotional, physical strain. But it was right.

I think, somewhere inside me, I feel that if I make the right decisions,

the good decisions, it's all going to be easy, it all should be easy.

I feel that God should clear the way,

knocking all the obstacles out of my path.

But, just because something is right does not mean that it is simple, that it's not going to take hard work.

As I've been thinking about moving overseas to study a Masters next year, I have felt that it is right. The timing feels right, the process feels right. I can see events in my life that have led to this point. I have had affirmation from people I know. And I assumed that everything would fall into place like jigsaw puzzle pieces fitting together. I didn't think about the sacrifices. The sacrifice of money: course fees, living expenses, travel expenses. The sacrifice of leaving New Zealand, for who knows how long? The sacrifice of a career that I've worked hard at for six years, that, no matter how I feel about it, is still something that a lot of my security lies in. The sacrifice of change, of knowing that nothing will ever be the same again. It's going to be hard. Even the practicalities of it: selling my car, my bed, my washing machine, finding somewhere to live in Amsterdam or Edinburgh or Durham, adjusting to being a student again. When I found out that the course in Edinburgh would cost a lot of my life savings, my initial reaction was disappointment. I instantly assumed that meant I just couldn't do it. But then I started thinking, "if it's the right thing, maybe that's a sacrifice I'm prepared to make." Just because it's right doesn't mean that someone is going to hand me a few thousand pounds. Just because it's right doesn't mean it won't be hard work. We are a generation that give up too easily. We give up on friendships when they no longer serve us, on relationships when they reveal things about us that we don't like, on jobs when they're just too difficult, on where we live when the grass is greener on the other side. But what if the thing that is difficult, the thing that seems like it is a mountain to climb, the thing that seems impossible, what if, despite its difficulty, it's still the right thing. That's the shift I've had to make in my mentality. Yes, you hear those stories of people who just walk down the street and everything they need falls out of the sky and lands at their feet. But they are the exceptions. And if you know something is right, isn't it worth some work and sacrifice?