Defining me

Do you ever feel like your reaction to a thing is completely out of proportion to the magnitude of the thing? Or that someone else's is? Like when something happens, usually something unexpected - a conversation, a disappointing outcome, a friend not reacting how you thought they would, being passed over at work - and your reaction is extreme...devastation, anger, despair, doubt in yourself, doubt in the future, doubt in everything you know.

Where does it come from??

I had one of those weeks a while ago. A few things happened, one of which was getting an essay mark that I wasn't happy with. It wasn't terrible, but my reaction to it was. I was ashamed, so I kept it hidden as far as I could (I'm still not that excited about putting in out there). I was angry that I'd put so much work into it. I had started to get excited about potential jobs for next year, but I began to question all of that - whether I was good enough, whether I should have stuck with physio. The hope and passion that had been building in me were out the window. Over one, fairly fine mark.

Why?

Because I didn't realise how much I was letting my academic ability define who I was. I was seeing myself on a scale where my essay mark was a percentage of how good I was, how good everyone else thought I was. At times, we see ourselves through the lens of other people's opinions, by the numbers on the scales, by how many people have liked our Instagram posts (don't tell me you've never done that!)

But I can tell you this from experience, those measures have no end. They never lead to contentment because there is always room to do more - always more tests to take, higher marks to get, more people to impress, another promotion to get, further to run. It's not bad to strive for things, but let me ask you this...are you striving for it or are you letting it dictate who you are and what you think about yourself?

When you're caught in that trap, remember...

"God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure." Ephesians 1:5.

That is what defines you and me. God chose us. He didn't have to. And the difference between Him and all those other things is that He is not fickle, He won't change His mind, He is perfect, and I am perfectly defined in Him.